Mr nice guy dating
I started out in high school as pretty much a dick. She ended it just when I was coming around to appreciate what a relationship had to offer. After that, I got much better and was more attentive and kind.
It was more I was extremely confident, had plans and goals and did not really have much time for women or dating. She called me an asshole on more than a few occasions. I did not take the time to communicate any of this to her. I went out of my way to let the women I was with know they were beautiful and I appreciated them. Despite that, I still was way more driven and into my goals than I was any woman. I did not cheat or go outside of the relationships, but they were also not my top priority.
As a result of this, I have been told by many of my ex girlfriends (I am one of those people who has remained friends with almost all his exes) that I broke their hearts and I was “the guy that got away” for them.
Strangely, my attentive, but driven dating self was way more desirable than my asshole self?
All of this was unconscious of course, and if it were not for me seeing this play out again and again in my coaching practice, I would have chalked it up to just my own personal experience.
Why does this happen: The essence of maleness, and the hormone testosterone, is of drive, focus, protection and the desire to win. What many don’t know is it is also to be a provider, protector and support system.
That being said, there are some very important points men, who are “good guys,” should consider.
But looking back, I think I know exactly what happened.
Interestingly, with this particular relationship, the more strong, steadfast and unattached to outcome I was (the real Jade), the closer she wanted to be.
The more vulnerable, communicative, accommodating and needy I was, the more she recoiled.
If you think about this from the evolutionary perspective you will realize it makes sense.
An alpha male, the one who leads a pack, must be both a lover and a fighter.